


A Touch In The Dark (Hange Zoe x Reader)

by ironmerc



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Hange Zoë, Kissing, Light Angst, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Other, Reader-Insert, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28792257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironmerc/pseuds/ironmerc
Summary: You couldn’t sleep, so what better way to solve insomnia than annoying Hange?One thing leads to another. Before you know it, you’ve already fallen in love.
Relationships: Hange Zoë & Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Hange Zoë/You, Hanji Zoe/Reader
Comments: 76
Kudos: 238





	1. You Know The Night Time, Darling

**Author's Note:**

> i really wanted Hange content that was fluffy so i decided to just write my own. i think i'll update pretty often(?) and i hope you enjoy reading this :)

You stand in front of their room, contemplating the decision you made ten minutes ago. In your hands are some chocolate cookies and a cup of warm milk. The gentle light of the overhead lamps casts over you, the light bouncing softly off of the doorknob.

You draw in a deep breath, knock, and open the door without waiting for a response. A few lit candles sit on the edge of Hange’s table, illuminating their room with a dark glow. You see them sitting at their desk, intensely scribbling on a piece of parchment paper. Their work is messily sprawled all over their desk.

“Yes, Moblit?” they ask, not even bothering to look up.

“Oh, uh… it’s actually Y/N.”

They immediately drop their pen and look up, “I am so sorry. I just thought it was Moblit with the papers again and-”

“It’s really okay. I just wanted to check up on you, and here are some cookies.” you say, as you set the cup and plate down on their desk.

Desperately, Hange tries to tidy the mess on their desk, accidentally knocking over the glass of milk. You rush over and move all of their precious work out of the way. They apologetically cleans up the spilled milk with their handkerchief and for a brief moment, your hands touch.

You quickly pull your hand back, electrified by the touch. Hange clears their throat.

“So…” they say, their voice slowly trailing off as they sit back in their chair. You can see their arm tightening as they reach over to grab a cookie. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah? I don’t know. I can’t fall asleep so I thought I’d see how you were doing.”

“You knew I was going to be up?” they tease as a smirk starts to form on their face.

“Why…why are you giving me that look?” you blush, feeling a smile coming. You sit on the edge of their bed and they turn towards you.

“Oh, what look?” they continue to eat a cookie, acting completely aloof.

You don’t answer, shaking your head at their playfulness. You notice that the usual eye bags are now a shade darker, and their body posture is fatigued and overworked. They notice you staring and sigh, almost slumping over.

“Look, I know what you’re about to say,” they exhale, “and I’m fine. Really. This new discovery has just been really important and I need to find out what this before I can take a break.“ their voice sparks with excitement as they point to the stack of papers.

“Hange…you need to rest. This isn’t healthy. Is Erwin forcing you to do this? If he is I will personally march to his room and-“

“No of course not, Y/N. I’m just really excited, that’s all. Plus, you don’t even know where his room is. Well, I sure hope you don’t.” they intercept you, giving a reason.

You laugh wholeheartedly, diffusing the tension built up inside of you. Hange looks at you, then after a moment, they giggle. Your heart skips a beat as you look at them. Their loose strands of hair sit atop their glasses, and everything else is tied into a messy ponytail. They look tired and exhausted in their work outfit, the very same one that they’ve been wearing for the past three days.

You can’t help yourself but let your mind wonder about tomorrow’s trip outside. Images of Hange riding on their horse, all strong and stoic. However, a part of you knows that something bad could always happen. They narrow their eyes at you, a wondering look on their face.

“What are you thinking about?” they gently whisper, sensing your quietness.

You take a deep breath and begin. “Tomorrow’s expedition. Something will go wrong. It always does. Who do I have to say goodbye to this time? What if I’m the one who dies? Our fate is the hands of titans, Hange. Every. Damn. Time. I’ve been on your squad for over two years and it never changes. I’m just so tired of it, and each time I see a fellow Scout getting eaten, or stabbed, or pulled apart, all I can picture are the looks of their family as we hand them whatever body part is left after. Most times it’s just a piece of their jacket. That’s all that’s left of them. And Levi is always the one who breaks the news.

“Captain Levi. That poor man. He’s saved so many lives yet he’s seen more die. I can’t even comprehend how he’s still okay. He’s probably not. Someone wound up that tight will burst sooner or later. I don’t want to become that, you know? I feel so bad for him. He desperately needs a hug.” You let it all out.

Hange slowly gets up from their chair and plops themself next to you on the bed. You patiently wait for any signs of a response from them, but you don’t get one. You turn and look at them, half-expecting for them to be asleep. However, they’re very much awake, deep in thought.

After a few minutes, they finally say something. “I know how you feel. It’s tough to always have to worry, right?”

You nod silently, your vision slowly blurring with tears. “I’m sorry I brought it up. I’m sorry that I spiraled out of control. I shouldn’t have.”

Hange sighs and scoots closer to you. They loop their left arm around you, and you lean in.  
Scents of rose petals complimented with notes of earthy musk alongside with a whiff of aromatic vanilla from the cookie washes over you.

 _So this is what they smell like?_ you think to yourself, content with the situation right now. You can hear Hange’s heartbeat loud and clear, it’s steady rhythm calming you down. _Ba-Dum_. _Ba-Dum_.

“I feel like there’s something that you aren’t telling me. Why are you so worried all of a sudden?” they ask, breaking through the comfortable silence.

You sit there and contemplate whether you should tell them. You do. “I’m so scared that I’ll lose you.”

A moment passes.

“Oh. Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s…actually really nice to know.”

“What?” you whisper.

They turn towards you, your faces a few inches apart. “It’s nice to know that you care about me.”

Taken aback by the sudden closeness, you sputter, “Hange, of course I care. Knowing you for these last four years have been the best four years of my life. You’re absolutely unbelievable, you know that? Thank you for being a great…friend.” You hesitate on the last word, not quite sure how to phrase it.

It was no secret that you’ve always found Hange undeniably attractive, but you always thought that it was just a harmless little crush, something that would pass with time. Yet, it didn’t, and you don’t think it ever will, especially with these late night ‘checkups’ that keep happening.

“Well, you’re a great friend too!” they gush, their normal self returning to the situation.

You feel this devastating sense of disappointment, but a part of you always knew that Hange would never reciprocate the feelings you had for them. You look away from them, and you realize that you’ve been in their room for a while.

“Crap.” you say as you stand up, dragging yourself away from Hange’s body.

“What’s wrong?” they blurt out as they looked around, alarmed by your sudden movement.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just almost two in the morning, and we need to be up in six hours.”

They nod in realization, and their shoulders instantly drop at the thought of sleep. Their cute, warm, light brown eyes look at yours, and you automatically smile at how adorable they are.

“Do you…are you going back to your room?”

 _What else could I do?_ you ponder whilst looking at Hange. “I mean, could I stay here? I have a really bad feeling that I’ll have a nightmare and I don’t want to have to wake up to that.”

“Oh yes, of course! You take the bed, okay? I’ll sleep on the chair.” they insistently say.

“What? No! I can’t make you sleep on the chair in your own room!”

“You aren’t making me!” they chime, oblivious to whatever you’re saying. “I’ll go change in the bathroom to give you some space to settle in. Do you need anything?”

You shake your head as you look yourself up and down. Pajamas? Already wearing them. Water? There’s some on Hange’s bedside table. Fluffy socks? You’ll be fine without them for a night.

You take a seat on Hange’s fluffy armchair, ready to get some sleep. They walk out of their bathroom in a white tank top with a pair grey shorts, their hair ruffled and untied. They take one good look at you before shaking their head.

“What?” you ask.

They laugh. “You were so stubborn the first day I met you, and you really haven’t changed.”

“No, this isn’t being stubborn. I’m just being polite and a respectable room guest.” you giggle, throwing a pillow at Hange.

They catch it with one hand, and before you know it, that very same pillow hits you straight on your face. “Ow! That hurt! You’re going to pay for that!” you roar as you leap at Hange, tackling them onto their bed.

One moment, you're on top. The next, you aren’t. Hange pins you down as you both laugh, their body caving in to yours. You look into their eyes and everything seems to stop. The laughter, your breathing, time. Hange realizes the position they have put you in, and they jump back right away. Your face is flushed and warm, and you can’t seem to look at Hange in the eyes.

“I…uh…we should go to bed, huh?

“Yeah.” They pause. “Yeah. We really should. I’ll take the chair.”

This time, you don’t say anything about that arrangement.

Hange takes a pillow and an extra blanket whilst you slide under the heated covers.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Hange.” you murmur as you feel yourself drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys liked that!!


	2. An Ordinary Pain In My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit different to the last chapter, but i hope you still enjoy it!
> 
> !! TW !! Mentions of blood + blades

_Knock. Knock. Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock._ “God damn it.” someone mutters on the other side of the door.

You gasp, waking up. Your head is pounding from a migraine and you can feel each and every heartbeat. The warm sunlight seeps through the mesh curtains, and you see Hange still deep asleep on their armchair, their head tilting at an uncomfortable angle.

The door knob shakes as the person on the other side fidgets with it. A second later, the door slams open with a kick.

In walks Captain Levi Ackerman, his mouth twisted with a bothered look. His eyes switch quickly between you and Hange, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion. Levi walks over to the armchair and with one smooth movement, he kicks it. Immediately, Hange opens their eyes, their whole body disoriented and they look absolutely baffled at Levi.

“Hey, four-eyes. Why is she in your room?” Levi points at you, getting straight to the point.

Hange takes a quick second to readjust, and they stand up, their breathing quick and shallow. “Oh jeez. Wait. Could you repeat what you said just now?”

Levi scoffs and leans against Hange’s table, “I said, why is she in your room?” You look between Levi and Hange, unsure of what to do.

Hange finally says, “She couldn’t sleep, so she came to my room, and I was awake.” They hold Levi’s stony stare and continues. “Is there anything wrong with that? We aren’t late, as far as I know. The sun is barely rising. Also, you haven’t said good morning to me yet, which is very rude, even by your standards.”

Walking towards the window, Levi _hmphs_ , the teeniest smirk forming on his face. “Whatever you say. You both need to get up. We leave in an hour.”

Just like that, the tension in the room thins. You slither yourself out of Hange’s bed, unsure of what to say to either one of them. “I should go and get ready. I’ll meet you both at the hall later.” you mumble before rushing out of Hange’s room without a second glance.

You hurry down the cold hallway and turn right, heading straight for your room. Having been on Hange’s team for two years really came with its perks. Your own room, your own bathroom that has a shower that you don’t have to share with anyone, which really just meant endless privacy. You don’t take any of those things for granted, as some other scouts have it much worse.

You open the door to your bathroom and twist open the tap. Cupping your hands, you bring your face towards the sink, gently scooping the water against your skin. The cooling sensation feels smooth and tranquil. You focus on your breathing, allowing yourself to mentally prepare for today’s trip.

_You’ll be okay. You will. Nothing will happen._

Lifting your head up, you catch a glimpse of yourself. Your once lively and cheerful smile is now replaced with lines of stress. Your face is no longer so plump, almost as if being a Scout is physically sucking the life out of you. It isn’t, but you really wonder sometimes.

You take in your surroundings, you always do before a mission, and something feels different. It’s almost as if there is an ounce of hope being mixed together with this impending sense of doom. You try and ignore it, willing for it to go away.

For a few seconds, you just lean against the oakwood wall, and you look outside. Trainees run around on the grass patches, their jackets lay forgotten on the ground. Oh, how you wish you could go back in time to experience all of that again.

You think about your time in the Training Corps. The days where food wasn’t scarce, and there was virtually nothing to worry about. Apart from Commander Keith, because that man was a real pain in the ass. But you had a good time. A great time, even. Nights spent bunking with Petra, listening to her talk about her crush on Oluo. It really made you reevaluate your feelings for Hange, which at the time were already developing.

 _Stop thinking about this. It’ll be okay._ You say to yourself again, but you don’t believe it.

You strip out of your pajamas and grab the nearest pair of pants, followed with a long-sleeve white button-up. You gently pick your jacket up from the chair and sling it over your shoulder. The putrid smells of sweat and mould wafts near you. You wrinkle your face with disgust. That jacket definitely has not been washed for a while.

There’s a soft knock on your door, followed with some light shuffling. You open it, and Hange stands there. They’re wearing their normal scouting outfit, but their oval-rimmed glasses sit atop their head. They sheepishly look at you, which is very unlike them. In their hands are a piece of bread and a cup of water. You stand there, processing the situation.

“Well, how the tables have turned.” you joke, thinking back to last night, when you were the one in their position.

They smile softly whilst passing the bread and water to you. You take it and munch down, allowing your hunger to be subdued until later. You can never eat much anyways, not with all the stress.

“So, are you all set and ready to go?”

“Yep. Just let me drink this water.” you say, as you chug the water down.

Hange continues looking at you without saying a word, and you feel this unsaid awkwardness between the two of you. You set the cup down on your table and you both walk out of your room.

As you and Hange walk through the hallways towards the grounds, you realize that their walking distance is really far from you — almost too far. They don’t try and engage in their usual type of banter either.

_Was it something I said last night? you think back. But, they were being playful too. Did I do something to make them uncomfortable? Fuck._

You’re so engulfed in your own internal monologue that you almost don’t even realize Hange calling out to you.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” They say as their face filling with worry.

“Oh…yeah. I actually wanted to talk-“

“Listen up everybody!” a voice booms and interrupts you. It is none other than Commander Erwin Smith. “Today, we will be uncovering the territory between Trost and Karanese.” People start to murmur with doubt as they understand what he is saying. “It will be tough. There is no doubt about that, but this is what we need. Humanity will look back at this moment years later, and we will make a difference! Your death will not be meaningless, and we will be able to prove it!”

You let the words weigh on your shoulders, and you see other scouts thinking too. You could practically hear their thoughts.

_I don’t want to do this._

_My parents will never see me again._

_I want my life to mean something._

There’s nothing to say. There’s nothing anyone can do. You, and everyone else in this group, swore your lives to the Scouts. If you die today, so be it.

You look at Hange for a few seconds, just to take in how they look. Their beautiful eyes shining with the sunlight. The way that their ponytail brushes against their broad shoulders. Their caring and understanding smile. That damn smile.

You sigh and mount your horse, reining it in. Erwin signals for everyone to get going, so you gently squeeze the horse with your legs, and you sink your weight into the saddle.

A soothing, steady breeze blows past you, and you feel it lift up your hair. The whole of Squad Hange rides on the lower left of the formation, and you can barely see Hange in the corner of your right eye.

Everything is smooth sailing until multiple red flares blasts into the sky from the right side, followed shortly by a green one. _Titans._

Lauda curses loudly. “So soon? How long has it been?”

“Ten minutes.” someone sputters.

The Fourth Squad slowly shifts towards the flares, all of your movement hasty and rapid. Everyone around you rides at a full speed gallop, and time is running short.

Boom! A black flare. _Shit._ You almost have no time to react as it dashes towards your group.

Everything stops. You hear Hange and Nifa screaming things at each other, but you can’t interpret any of it. You can’t move, physically glued to your horse. You see it happen. Keiji cutting the ankle tendons, giving Hange the perfect opportunity to slice open the nape.

Except, they miss. Their ODM gear twists, and they spiral and spiral, right into the grasp of the abnormal titan. The titan falls heavily to ground, grasping Hange tightly in their palm. You hear the sound of bones crunching, even though you’re far far away.

Moblit zooms forward, carving a deep gash in the titan’s nape. Blood bursts out, fully soaking Moblit. The titan crashes forward, and Hange rolls out of their palm, their body deeply disentangled.

Out in the far distance, a blue flare rises up. You jump off your horse, running towards Hange’s body.

“No no no please…” you wheeze and you feel your throat starting to close up.

You run faster than you ever have before, and the closer you get, the more apparent the truth becomes.

Moblit and the others crowd around the body and pieces of clothing have been torn off to stop the blood flow.

You stop a few meters away from them, unable to move any further. You see Hange’s face, bruised and battered.

Your world seems to be caving in, and you taste blood at the back of your throat. You want to go back to last night. You just want to feel Hange’s warm embrace. But now, you don’t know if you ever will again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm glad levi has finally appeared 
> 
> "levi da" 
> 
> *insert fidget spinner noises*


	3. Sleepless Solitude Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well well....i am very sorry that this turned out to be a lot more angst and a lot less fluff...the fluff will be back next chapter :))
> 
> !! TW !! Mentions of blood, blades and wounds

You can’t see anything. You can’t really feel anything either. Your body stops functioning. You drift into this dark, misty void of thoughts. However, there is no unease creeping up on you.

As you glide through this unknown blankness, every memory you’ve ever cherished rushes to your sides, and you’re visually overwhelmed.

Your first day as a cadet. Absolutely acing the every aspect of the training, especially the ODM gear. Discovering that you’re just as good at science as you are at fighting titans. Being personally scouted by Hange Zoe, the most intelligent researcher, to join their team. Was it a dream come true? Partially. You didn’t plan on joining the Scouts, as the Garrison Regiment always seemed so fun, but Hange’s personal offer was too good to pass up.

The memories shift again, and this time, you see yourself sitting at the wooden tables with the whole of the Special Operations Squad, laughing about something that you can’t remember. You smile at this, your heart warm from the reminder.

You’re still looking when an unfamiliar force yanks you towards this brightly glowing recollection. You peer at it, and the scene transforms. You see yourself and Hange, both sitting on the grass, your backs leaning against the big tree. It was your first proper conversation with them, and it really was the moment where you saw how pure and genuine they were. They were so eager to welcome you onto their squad even though you were a good 8 years younger than them. You talked and talked for hours that one afternoon, laughing blissfully.

Tears start pooling at the edge of your eyes and you desperately try to blink them away, but they just keep coming. You give in, letting the pain take over.

_Smack_.

Your eyes blur, taking a few seconds to focus on the situation around you.

You’re lying on the back of a cart, surrounded by other injured Scouts. You hysterically try to find Hange amongst these people, but you don’t.

“Where are they?” you scream, trying to find out who is controlling this cart.

“Y/N! What’s wrong? Does your leg still hurt?” Moblit glances over from the horse.

You glance down at your leg, and you see a deep gash oozing with blood.

“Try not to move so much, please. We really need to get the blood flow to stop before you lose too much blood.”

You haven’t even realized that your right calf is cut up with pieces of dirt sitting on top. Almost instantly, you feel the harsh sting burning into your skin.

You lean back against the side of the cart, trying to bite back a sob.

_Hange is most likely gone and…and fuck…the wound is so deep. What happened?_

“Moblit? How did this happen?” you stammer out.

Moblit sighs, “You passed out on the ground after we took down the abnormal titan. Nifa had to carry you towards our horses and your legs slipped on one of her blades. It really was just an accident. As soon as we get back to Trost, we’ll get you patched up, okay? The wound doesn’t look infected yet, which is always a good sign.” He continues to smile at you, even though you could see him shaking.

You breathe and ask the inevitable. “Is Hange still…alive?”

Moblit looks ahead again, unable to meet your eyes. “I’m not so sure. Captain Levi personally took their body, so I’m assuming they must’ve reached Trost by now.”

You don’t say anything back. There is nothing that can be said. Instead, you try not to think about how red your wound is right now.

After a few minutes, you finally see glimpses of the lift system transporting horses. Moblit redirects the cart onto one of the lifts. You lurch upwards as the lift starts, and a thin breeze dances on your skin.

At the top, someone carries you out towards the infirmary. You can feel your heartbeat pulsing in the wound. A doctor holds a pair of tweezers and plucks out each individual piece of dirt. You feel the sharp prick each time and you suppress a scream. He soaks a clean-ish cloth with some alcohol, and without a warning, he dabs it directly onto your wound.

The pain stuns you momentarily and your heartbeat quickens. You breathe, in, out, in, out, miserably trying to stop the pain.

The doctor shoots you a tired look. “It’ll heal in a few weeks, just take it easy for now.”

“Thank you. Has the Section Commander been carried here?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Okay, thanks for all this.”

You limp out of the infirmary, determined to find Hange. The wound throbs, but you walk as fast as you can, straight towards Hange’s room. 

You hobble pass the hallway you were walking past the previous night, and you feel nothing but dread creeping up to you. You see Erwin standing outside Hange’s door, his posture shrunken and defensive.

“Please tell me they’re okay. Please.”

“They are.” Erwin says with a tiny, hopeful smile.

Relief floods through you, and you hug Erwin. He is clearly confused, but he hugs you back softly.

“Can I go in?” you say as you place your hand on the doorknob.

Erwin nods. “Yeah, of course. Levi is in there though, just wanted to let you know.”

You thank him and open the door. You see Hange lying in their bed, their face and chest heavily bandaged. Immediately, Levi stands up from floor and looks at you.

He suddenly leaps towards you and grabs your shirt collar. “Why do they like you so much?”

You’re very taken aback by the menacing look on his face. “What?”

“Hange…I’ve never seen them care more about a person than you. Why? Why is that?”

“I…I didn’t know that.” You say, and Levi lets go of you.

“Just promise me you won’t hurt them.”

You have never been more confused. _What is Levi talking about?_

“What do you mean?” you say a little too loudly. Hange stirs in their bed, their face contorted with discomfort.

“Quit it, you know what I mean. You better take care of them. If you don’t, I will chop you up and kill you outside for everyone to see.”

_Oh. God._ “Jeez, Captain. I really like Hange, but they don’t like me back. And please, stop threatening me.”

“They do like you back. A lot. Almost too much, because I don’t know what they see in you.”

You feel beyond offended by what he is saying.

“You know what they said to me before they fell asleep? ‘Please tell Y/N to come here and please make sure she’s always safe.’ They wanted you to be safe more than anything else. They cared more about that than their own well-being, so don’t you even think about hurting them. You promise?”

You hold your pinky finger out. “I promise.”

Levi gives you a small smile and a curt nod before walking out the room.

You stare at Hange properly for the first time in hours. Your heart aches at how vulnerable they look. Their soft cheekbones covered are covered in cuts, and you can see blood seeping through their clothes.

You carefully unwrap the blood-soaked bandage around their ribs and set it on the bedside table. Grabbing a clean piece of cloth from the table, you wipe away the stains across their chest. You see them wince several times, but anything is better than an infection.

You throw away the dirty bandages, and you attentively wrap their chest with new ones. You notice that one of their left ribs is higher than the rest, possibly bruised.

You sigh crushingly, and settle into the armchair for a long night ahead.

You awake to the sound of Hange whispering.

“Y/N…”

You bolt over to their side, your heart beating from worry.“What’s wrong?”

“My throat is so dry…”

Slowly, you lift their body upwards, letting them lean against the bed frame. You gently tilt their head up and gradually pour the water down their throat. They mellowly gulp it down, their face grimacing from the pain.

You lightly bring their body down again, allowing them to lie straight on their bed. They look over weakly at you, a smile on their face. You smile back with all your energy, content that Hange is awake and alive, thankfully.

Hange looks straight into your eyes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful.”

“No…no Hange, how can you be the one apologizing? I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to help you fast enough. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t okay after. I’ll always protect you, and be here for you. ”

“Thank you.” They smile and sink their head into the pillow. A pause of silence.

“Hange, I have to tell you something.” You bite your lip, scared to continue. “When you nearly died, I crumbled. I couldn’t do anything, and I was so scared that I wasn’t going to get the chance to tell you how I truly felt. I hope you don’t feel pressured by what I’m saying.”

Hange nods, and waits for you to go on.

“Hange, you’re so amazing. I didn’t think that I’d ever find someone who completes me as much as you do, but I did. That afternoon when we had just met, I finally knew that I had found the perfection that I had been looking for my whole life. I…I really like you Hange. I hope you know what I mean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh i hope that was an okay read, i'll be updating a little less frequently as exam season is on the horizon, but it won't be too long until the next chapter :)


	4. In My Arms Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowwwwwwwww that took way longer to update, hope you guys like it :>

Hange looks at the wall, their face blank.

“Please say something.”

They don’t say anything. The longest minute you’ve ever experienced passes.

They finally look at you, an enthusiastic glint in their eyes. “Where did you think this was going to go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I know what you mean. And I feel the same way about you.”

Levi’s words flood back into your head, and you realize he wasn’t kidding. Hange did like you back. _Wait. Hange likes me back._

Hange slowly lifts themselves up and leans closer towards you. Their face writhes with pain as their muscles flex. You tilt yourself towards them and your bodies meet halfway.

Delicately, you wrap your arms around neck, letting their weight shift onto you. You can feel the warmth radiating off of their shirtless—but bandaged—body.

They sigh and inhale deeply. “Can you stay the night?”

You giggle a little. “Is that even a question?”

They giggle along with you until they start coughing, and their body shakes against yours, the pain visible on their face. You faintly pat their back, and their coughing slows.

Their breathing remains shallow and depthless, and you feel a layer of sweat forming on their back.

“This is going to take a while to heal.” They say as they look down at themselves.

“You promise me you’ll take it easy?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

Resting your head lightly on their shoulder, you inhale deeply. The very same aroma of rose petals and earthy musk pleasantly infuses in your nose.

Hange shifts backwards a little so they can look at you. You look into their beautiful brown eyes, and your heart beats faster than ever. All you can think about is how much you want to kiss them.

Obviously, you can’t do that. Number one, Hange is deeply hurt. Physically, not the emotional kind. Number two, this can’t be the right time for a kiss.

_Or…is it?_

They break the comfortable silence. “Are you okay?”

You tilt your head to the side, slightly confused. “What do you mean? I’m fine, just really shaken up. I mean, I’m not the one with broken ribs and a bloody chest.”

“Hey! My ribs aren’t broken! Just slightly bruised.”

“Whatever you say.” You smile, realizing how easy and effortless talking to them is. Hange watches you with a look you can’t quite pinpoint. You don’t know what they’re thinking, but maybe that’s for the best.

You both just sit there for a while, satisfied with each other’s embrace. It was definitely past 12AM, and you could hear the night-calling cicadas humming. The air moved like refreshing water, and silhouettes of unknown shadows overrun the room. Hange’s grip on your waist softens ever so slightly.

“Are you tired?” You ask in a whisper, scared that you’ll ruin the moment.

They hum in a low voice, a tinge of sadness in a while. “Kind of. I’ve got a lot of time to just lie here and sleep, since I won’t be up and running for a while.”

“You don’t seem too happy about that.”

“No…my self-worth comes from the work I do, you know? Erwin has been bugging me for something on that piece that came off the wall, but I’ve found nothing.”

“It’s okay that nothing has been found yet. You’re so much more than your work revelations. Plus, you have to rest up these few weeks! If you don’t, your wounds won’t heal properly.” You rebut, hoping that they’d see it from your point of view.

They smile playfully. “You’re not going to let up on this, are you?”

“Nope.” You smile back.

“Okay then, we might as well go to bed before Levi troddles in again.”

“I was truly terrified when he kicked your door open.”

“Well, that’s Levi for you. He really packs a punch, doesn’t he?”

You quietly laugh to yourself at the thought of Levi trying to tower over Hange. You notice Hange slightly slouched into you, almost as if their body weight is too heavy for them.

“Hey.” You say as you gently tap their back. You get no response. “Hey. Hange?”

They slowly blink open their eyes, completely disoriented.

“Hange, let’s go to bed, okay?”

They nod their head in agreement, clearly too tired to talk.

Cautiously, you lower Hange’s body back onto their bed and tuck them in. You see that the bleeding has thinned, the patch of red on their chest barely visible.

Sighing, you swipe their hair out of their face and slide under the covers beside them.

The warm cotton covers softly brush against your skin as you turn to face Hange. They are already fast asleep, the edge of their mouth drooping as they breathe.

You close your eyes, notably trying to sleep. However, the sleep just doesn’t come.

The lamp on the bedside table emits a dim gleam of golden streaks across the room, but some parts of the room is left to the gloomy dusk. It also seems as if there are monsters lurking in the corners. Yet, there is something reassuring in the darkness of Hange’s room that is like a promise.

The wood flooring panels, the discovery-decorated walls, the rustic and homey atmosphere just resonates with you. Everything about this atmosphere feels safe and reassuring.

Hange shifts a little besides you, and you can hear their breathing. You turn over and lightly drape your left arm over their waist. Your fingers graze over their solid abs, and you feel them tensing and relaxing as they breathe in and out. You try to relax over the proximity of your bodies together, but nothing stops you from blushing as your thoughts drift elsewhere.

You, Hange, tangled up in their bed.

Stop. Stop it. You try to think of cuter moments, but all you could picture was Hange all over you.

You sit up and shake your head, trying so hard to get those thoughts out of your head.

Hange moves a little beside you, and you feel their fingers tug at pants. You look down to see them tiredly looking back at you.

They whisper, their voice barely audible. “Why aren’t you sleeping…?”

“I don’t know, I just can’t.”

“Hey…” They gently grab your waist with both hands and pull you towards them, their leg on top of yours.

“Is that position comfortable for you? Don’t your ribs hurt?”

“No, my left side is still as strong as ever.” They quip, laughing at their own joke.

All you could feel is the hot, sultry air brushing on your neck as Hange continues to laughs.

The tingly sensation lingers, almost unbearably ticklish. You turn to lie on your right, both your faces mere inches away. Your body is snugly linked with Hange’s, your left leg between theirs.

You see a tiny tinge of pink on their cheeks, and they lean even closer in.

“Hange…”

“Hmm?”

“You’re tired, go back to sleep…”

“Looking at you is much nicer.”

“You’re such a tease.” You gush at how adorable they look right now.

You tip your head slightly forward and plants a kiss on the edge of Hange’s lips, letting your own lips linger.

You can hear Hange quietly inhale, and their eyes open wide.

Without a word, Hange places their lips on yours and kisses you. Maybe time stops when they kiss you, but you can only focus on how soft they feel against your mouth.

Their hand slowly makes its way down to your waist, provocatively giving your shirt a little tug. You gasp, your whole body electrified by Hange’s movements.

Your stomach twists in a knot as Hange caresses your upper lip with their tongue, smoothly sliding it into your mouth.

Your brain feels as if it is short-circuiting, and you feel beyond invigorated.

Hange brings their hand to your first and cups it whilst deepening the kiss.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck._

Hange pulls away for a quick second, their sparkling eyes scanning your face. “Are you okay with this?”

“More than okay, and I’d love to keep doing this, but you need sleep.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. I don’t want you to be in anymore pain than you have to be in.”

Hange gives you the whole puppy-dog eye look, pouting their lips.

“Nuh-uh, that isn’t going to work on me.” You say, even though you’re clearing grinning.

“Fiiiiiiiine. But…we’ll continue this sometime soon?”

“Definitely.”

They smile widely at you before curling up, burying their head in your chest.

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

You furrow your eyebrows at the new nickname. “Sweetheart, huh?”

“Yeah, you’re sweet, and you definitely have my heart so…” They grin before trailing off.

“Wow, that is very cheesy, but I am a sucker for cute nicknames.”

“I know you are.”

You laugh at how well they know you, and a familiar warmth fills up your chest. Your heart swells with happiness.

Hange serenely falls asleep in your arms, and you continue to look at them in a totally-not-creepy way.

You feel oddly…at peace. It’s as if everything is going to be okay, as long as Hange is by your side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo...there's probably one to two more chapters after this? and after that i'll definitely be writing something a little more *smutty*. 
> 
> anyways, it'll take a while for me to update again as i am still in the middle of exam season, so it'll probably be a week. stay safe!


	5. Petals On The Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooooooooooooo i'm still alive, and exam season is still thriving, so it might be a week again before i get another update out :(
> 
> on the plus side, i'm writing another story alongside this one! so if you want something smuttier and has more of the S4 plot (and is still Hange-related), go and have a look! (omg the shameless plug lmao)
> 
> also, if i didn't quite make it clear before, the reader is female (and quite feminine), so there's that 
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy this chapter!

A few days have passed by since that night.

Hange’s wound has finally started to close up, thanks to you changing their bandages and cleaning their cuts three times a day.

They’re still mostly in bed, resting up until their body is better. Nothing has been said about that kiss. Or where your relationship is at right now. There had been a few pecks here and there, but no real talk. You make a mental note to have a proper conversation with Hange later.

The day was bright and filled with hope, but you’ve been asked to run errands for Erwin whilst trying to take on Hange’s crushing workload at the same time. It’s a recipe for an extreme mental breakdown.

…which is exactly what’s happening right now. Your head is buried between your knees, and all you’re trying to do is breathe, sitting outside the halls. Who knew being in charge for just two days takes such a toll on your body?

Your hands are tightly clutching the papers as you rock yourself back and forth.

The sound of footsteps get louder and louder as someone approaches you.

“Oi, why are you crying?” Levi says.

 _Dammit_. You desperately try to wipe the tears from your eyes.

“I’m not.”

“Tt. Don’t tell me then.” He starts leisurely walking away.

“Wait…Captain Levi?”

“Hmm?”

“…The stress is getting to me.”

You can see Levi hesitating for a moment before saying anything. “It always does, doesn’t it? It gets tiring after a while.”

“It does, but don’t you sleep like two hours a night?”

He chuckles as he slides down the wall to sit beside you. “It’s the insomnia.”

“Or maybe it’s the tea.”

You see the corner of Levi’s lips tugging up.

You open your mouth but it takes a while for the words to come out. “Are you…smiling? From something I said?”

Levi shakes his head, deflecting what you said. “Hange is certainly healing well.”

“They just want to get back to work.”

“Of course, it’s Hange. Have you been doing their share of tasks?”

“Yep.” You murmur, your lips drawn into a thin line.

He snorts and stands up, gesturing for you to do the same. “So that’s what you’re crying over?”

“Yeah, I guess…?”

“You shouldn’t fret over things like that.”

You look at him in confusion. “Why…not?”

“Any minute, that wall can break. Do you really want your last moments to be worrying over something that doesn’t even matter?”

“When you put it that way…”

He takes in a deep breath. “I’ve done things I will regret, and I’ve lost people I love. Don’t let that be you too.”

“Thank you. For everything you do.”

Levi pats your shoulder in acknowledgement and looks towards the cafeteria.

“Let’s go get some lunch for Hange, alright?”

You nod with a smile on your face.

The cafeteria is bustling with people everywhere, and smell of fresh baked bread and stew wafts throughout the air. Erwin is sitting at a table with Levi’s squad, all of them laughing at something Gunther had said.

Levi catches Erwin’s gaze and he waves you both over.

Erwin turns to face Levi, a smile faintly on his face. “Hey.”

Oddly, Levi doesn’t say anything back to him, but you see a delicate smirk.

There’s this unmatched energy between the two of them that makes you wonder, _Is there something between them? Better ask Hange later._

Petra pushes two bowls filled to the brim with stew towards you. “I got this just now before they ran out.”

You smile at how thoughtful she has always been. “Thank you.”

She smiles back before immersing herself in Oluo’s new egotistical story.

Attentively, you carry the bowls out of the cafeteria and walk towards Hange’s room.

The afternoon sun burned blazingly on your skin as you pass the training fields. Far away, you can see cadets training in combat.

As you walk down the hallways, you see Moblit leaving Hange’s room. His face lights up as soon as he sees you.

“Hi Y/N! Are you bringing food to Hange?”

“Yep!” You say cheerfully, trying to match his energy.

He nods happily and walks on by, leaving the door slightly ajar for you.

Gently, you use your elbow to nudge the door open.

Hange is sitting on their bed, their back propped against the bed frame.

“I got food!” You announce heartily as you set the bowls down on their work table.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I’ve missed you so much.” They open their arms wide, waiting for a hug.

On the side of their bed, you gratefully lean into their embrace whilst climbing slightly onto the bed.

You pull out of the hug to look at Hange properly for the first time today. Their torso is still bandaged.

“Can I clean your wounds?”

Hange nods and slowly lifts their arms up.

Delicately, you unravel the bandages, leaving their chest extremely exposed. You try your look away respectably, but the wound covers quite a large area.

“Are you okay with this?” You ask and gently dab an alcohol-soaked cloth onto the wound’s spot.

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well…you’re quite…uh…naked.”

For a moment, Hange’s expression is unreadable. Suddenly, they loudly chuckle.

“You’ve done this for a week. We’ve kissed. I think we’re past that stage.”

You look down at your hands, unsure of how to phrase your question.

Hange seems to notice your unease. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, but I feel like we should talk about that night.”

“Oh…yeah, okay. I saw this coming.”

“And…?”

“Well, I’ve planned a surprise for tonight.”

 _Tonight?_ You’re more than confused, and Hange breaks into a grin.

“Why are you looking so smug?”

“Because…you’ll see.” Hange continues to smile to themselves.

“Okay then.” _I guess we’ll keep putting this conversation off. Fine. Whatever._

You awkwardly grab a bowl of stew and start eating. Hange does the same, still shirtless, and the both of you just sit there in silence, devouring the food. It didn’t taste as bad as it usually does.

Hange finishes their bowl fast, setting it down on the bedside table.

They lean in for a hug again. You grudgingly comply. You can feel the warmth of their chest on yours.

“You’re still naked.”

“Mm, there’s no one else here. I’m fine with being naked around you.”

“But you can’t even care enough to talk to me.” You mumble.

Hange’s face twists into a mix of confusion and amusement. “Wh- What do you mean?”

You roll your eyes slightly. “I don’t know.”

“…So you want me to tell you how I feel?”

The tension in your chest dissipates a little. “Yes.”

“I already told you that night. I…really like you. More than anything. And I’ve really prepared something special for tonight, okay?” They reassure you and hug you even tighter.

You nod and cling onto them for comfort.

“Also, I didn’t peg you to be such a confrontational person.” They tease.

“Hey!” You mockingly take offense and shake your head.

Hange let out an infectious giggle and places a kiss on your lips.

Suddenly, you remember the moment in the cafeteria. “Hange?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think Levi likes Erwin?”

Hange pulls out of the embrace, their forehead scrunched from their thoughts. “You’re really perceptive, you know that?”

You feel your face flush with the compliment. “So he does?”

Hange tilts their head and scrunches their face. “Well…I don’t really know. He’s quite a secretive guy, but I think he finds peace with Erwin. That’s all that matters, right?”

You nod, definitely understanding the unspoken silence. You hear Hange sigh.

“Well, I better get ready for tonight.” Hange gestures towards their closet.

“Already?”

“Yep!”

You sigh jokingly, getting up from the bed. Outside the window, the sun has now turned the sky into an orange gold color, compared to the bright blue a few hours ago.

You turn back to Hange and thankfully, they have finally put a shirt on.

“So where will I meet you?”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll pick you up at seven thirty.”

_An hour to get ready._

“Okay, see you in an hour.” You say smiling, closing the door behind you.

After running to your room, you debate on what to wear.

_A dress? No, it looks too ragged. Something more formal? Shit, I have nothing formal._

After thirty whole minutes, you finally decide on a sage green sweater with a white button down beneath, just in case it gets cold.

You put on a light brown skirt and your normal boots.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you’re quite happy with how your outfit.

You’re pacing around the room when you hear a knock on your door. They’re here.

You open the door, and Hange is standing there, holding a bouquet of different flowers. White orchids, red tulips, purple lilacs and blue hydrangeas. They’re wearing a casual suit jacket and most importantly, their hair is down and their glasses gently sit on top.

Hange smiles wide and holds out the bouquet. “This is for you. You look beautiful, as usual.”

You take the flowers, gaping at them and at how good Hange looks, trying to string words into a sentence. “Hange…how did you get this?”

“A few connections.”

“This is amazing. Beyond amazing. Oh my god. You look so elegant.” You’re still in shock from the range of colorful flowers.

Hange grins and pulls you in for a kiss. Their lips are soft and warm against yours, and the fresh floral scent mixed with Hange’s usual aura turns your heart into mush.

“Well, let’s get going, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all liked that! if you have any prompts/ideas/suggestions, please comment them down below! 
> 
> see you in the next chap :P


	6. Wishing On A Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! i'm finally back and posting on this work again. this chapter took way longer than expected to write so i hope you all will bear with me!!
> 
> i will try to post more regularly now as i currently have a break, and i want this story to shift into something a bit more original (whilst still loosely following the actual storyline)
> 
> anyways, i hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Hange leads you through the hallways and out into the cool night air. 

“Where are we going?” You ask curiously, wondering what Hange could possibly have up their sleeve. 

“You’ll see.” 

“That’s so vague!” 

They chuckle at your curiosity. “We’re almost there.” 

They lead you further off the proper grounds, and you realize where they’re taking you. 

After several minutes, you finally see it. 

On the wide open field where the cadets normally train, the practice equipment is all gone. 

Instead, you see a picnic blanket with a bottle of wine, two glasses, and the weird piece of gear mounted on a few metal sticks. It’s surrounded by several candles and rose petals. 

“Hange…what is that thing?” 

The moon is shining bright tonight, casting a beautiful gleam onto Hange, illuminating them in this dusky field. They’re clearly smirking. 

“You’ll see.” 

“Not again!” You smack their arm playfully.

They chuckle and wrap you into a hug. “I’ll show you later when the stars are sparklier!” 

They hold onto your hand and you both sit down on the picnic blanket, the wind picking your skirt up slightly. 

Hange looks away respectfully and inserts a corkscrew into the wine bottle. The cork jumps out with a pop, an aroma of ripe pear and pineapples wafts around you. 

Their eyes meet yours in an instant, almost as if they know what you’re thinking. “I got this from Erwin. Turns out, he can get a lot from Pyxis if he tried.” 

You grin and leave a light kiss Hange’s lips. “That’s one precious bottle.” 

“Not as precious as you.” 

A laugh escapes your lips. “You’re getting cheesier and cheesier everyday!” 

They smirk at you and nod their head playfully, not saying anything. The wine swirls out of the bottle into one of the beautifully carved wine glasses, and Hange passes it to you. They pour a glass for themselves, and you take a small sip. 

The wine coats your tongue, and you close your eyes to savor the taste. A perfect blend of rich fruity flavor complimented with a hint of refreshing acidity. The essence and twang of the wine blows your mind. “Oh wow…this is amazing!” 

“I know!” Hange sighs contently, glancing at you. “It sets a great tone for tonight.” 

You raise your wine glass to theirs, clinking them together softly. “To us!” 

“To us.” Hange hums. 

You take another sip of the wine, treasuring the taste. You can already feel it buzzing through your bloodstream. 

Hange sets their wine glass back down onto the picnic blanket. “Well, I better hope that that doesn’t fall.” They push themselves up and hold their hands out. “Come on! I’ve got something to show you.” 

You grab onto their soft hands and pull yourself up. They walk towards the weird machinery.

“So…are you finally going to tell me what this is?” You ask, pointing at it. 

Hange grabs onto the long, metal tube of the gear and twists it slightly. “A few days before our last expedition, I was going through some of the Garrison’s unwanted items, and I found bits and pieces of this!” They say, excitedly pointing at it. 

“But what is it?” 

“I…I don’t actually know?” Hange rubs the back of their neck nervously. “The labels said that it was a telescope, but I’ve never heard of that name before. It’s probably old technology from before the titans.” Hange shifts their body downwards, pressing their eye against the lower end of the tube.

This piques your interest. _What are they looking at?_

“So what you’re going to want to do is to place your right eye here.” They tap at what you assume is a scope of some sort. “Then…just have a look.” You can hear them trying to control the excitement in their voice. 

You crouch a little and hover your face near the eyepiece, and that’s when you see it. Thousands and thousands of swirly, glimmering, sparkly stars against a dark background. Each one radiates a vibrant flickering ray of light. It’s as if they’re only a few meters away from you. 

“Hange…how?” 

They giggle, clearly very proud of themself. “The pieces of glass that are inside this tube is a lot clearer and stronger than the ones we have right now, yet they can easily magnify over fifty times more than my microscope!”

“This is amazing!” You gush, incredibly impressed. You quickly bring your face back onto the edge of the scope and look again. There’s a small-scale light turquoise element in the corner of your view, giving off a cloudy glow. “Wait, what’s that?” 

Hange’s eyebrows knit together as they peer into the scope. “Huh. I didn’t see this just now.” 

You look up at the sky, trying to find it. “It was so round, so it definitely couldn’t have been a star, right? I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like that before.”

“Huh…” Hange hums, pulling a mini tainted piece of graph paper out of their pocket. “According to this ‘Star Chart’ that I found in the same box, the round thing we are looking at is a planet called…your anus?” 

“What?” You burst out laughing, practically certain that Hange is playing a joke on you. 

“No no, that’s what it actually says here.” They point promptly at the map. “Oh wait, it’s meant to be pronounced u…ra…nus? Uranus?”

“Are you not kidding me?” You say incredulously, still very doubtful. 

Hange looks at you endearingly. “I promise you, I really am not! I don’t quite believe it either.” 

“Wait, can you pass me that graph?” 

They pass it to you whilst still looking through the so-called telescope. 

You look over the fragile piece of paper and you see eight different labelled circles, all of them differently colored. There’s even one with a cloudy ring around it. The word ‘Planets’ is written on the top. A thin, red arrow points at the most patterned circle, and the words ‘You Are Here!’ are imprinted beneath. 

You feel baffled, not understanding a single thing that is going on. “Hange?”

“Yeah?” They say, their attention still glued to the telescope. 

“It says here that we’re on a planet named Earth.” 

Hange finally looks over at you, a puzzling look settling on their face. “Is that so?” 

All of a sudden, a big gust of wind blows past, lifting up the edges of the picnic blanket. Some petals from the bouquet are whisked away. Hange runs to it, desperately stopping the wine from spilling all over. You dash over to help them, the piece of paper still grasped tightly in your hands. 

You grab a hold of the wine bottle, preventing it from falling over. “Oh, thank goodness. Can you imagine what Erwin would say if he found out we wasted this?”

Hange chuckles apprehensively, the nervousness very noticeable in their voice. “That was too close.” They restlessly run their hands through their hair, letting it sit softly on their shoulders. 

For a moment, you just sit there, completely mesmerized by their elegance. They glance at you, worry clouding their face. “Y/N? Are you okay?” 

You snap out of it, your face flushing with embarrassment. “Oh, yeah, of course…just feeling a bit cold.” 

They take off their coat jacket and drape it around you. You both sit there in silence for a few minutes, savoring the moment. Hange clears their throat. “Let’s head back, alright? It’s getting pretty late, and we’ve got a nice bottle of wine and a warm bed calling our names.” 

“When you put it that way…” You whisper, feeling the effects of the wine creeping up on you. 

Hange gathers up the blanket, wine bottles, and flowers and places them into the wooden basket. “Are you ready?” 

You realize they haven’t done anything about the telescope yet. “What about that?” You point at it. 

“Oh, I’ll be back tomorrow so we can just leave that there. Are you able to stand by yourself?” 

“Mmm…kind of?” You walk a few steps but you uncontrollably sway back and forth. Hange stifles their laugh and hugs you tightly, leading you away from the bumps on the field. 

The sound of your footsteps thudding against the mud fills the pleasant silence between you two. 

“You’re adorable.” Hange murmurs. 

The words spin around in your head. “No…you are.” You buzz, unsure whether you actually said anything out loud. 

Shortly, the buildings finally come into view again. 

Hange leads you through the familiar, dimly lit hallways. Your surroundings spin as you glance around, starting to lose yourself. You feel yourself being propped up against the wall as Hange opens the door to their room. They go in first and sets the basket on the table. 

“Let’s get you inside!” Hange says as they practically carry you in. 

Before you can stop yourself, you blurt something out. 

“Wait, what did you say?” Hange asks, setting you down on their bed. 

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading! i hope you enjoyed it :))
> 
> if you have any ideas/prompts/suggestions, please leave them below! 
> 
> see you in the next chapter :>>>


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